Monday, November 24, 2008

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

This is one of my favorite poems and it says just how I feel about my daughter's lost youth. I screwed up pretty badly, I was very unhappily married, worked 2 jobs, and had no idea how fast she'd grow up and be gone, gone, gone. I was too angry and took it out on her. I'm feeling very sad about it today.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans
"If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less, and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging. I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love."
I've been trying to make it up to her, trying to help her when I can financially and with her kids. She's an angry young lady just like I was. The acorn doesn't fall far from the oak tree.


Fancy Schmancy said...

Oh, sweetie, I feel so badly. It sucks that hindsight is 20/20. You did the best you could at the time, and you were the best mother you could be. Everyone wants the opportunity to go back and change things they see now weren't perfect. But none of us are perfect. And you are absolutely doing the right thing now by helping her to be a good mother.

Every thing you are doing for her and your grandchildren is a step in the right direction.

That damn expat said...

I'm not a mother but I am a daughter and I believe it's never too late. If you are still a big part of your girl's life then you are doing the right thing.

chaos37 said...

Thanks Expat. I try my best to be involved in her life, I go out of my way for her whenever possible. She's a tough kid. But I appreciate the kind words!