You could have knocked me over with a feather when Mike called me at work Friday and asked me to go with him to the races that night! Out in public! Where we might run into his brother and friends! Of course I said yes, it blew my mind. We actually had fun, I've never been interested in the races but we were rooting for a driver Mike knows and we sat close to the track, so I was pleasantly surprised that I really enjoyed it. He then proceeded to really shock me by asking me to go with him up to the New Hampshire Speedway where the same driver would be racing the following day. Again, the chance we'd run into his brother & their friends. This really meant a lot to me since he's so protective of his daughter's feelings & in the past she was apparently upset that he was seeing someone other than her mother. This was really hard for me to tolerate but I was patient & now it's paid off. [The daughter is 20 now & she must have gotten over it, he hasn't lived with the X since 2003 & hasn't slept with her in over 4 years [during one of 'The Dumpings'], so -Reality Check!]
Anyway, we ended up spending the night in New Hampshire & driving home yesterday. He drank too much on Saturday & was a bit of a bitch Saturday night, so I was not looking forward to being stuck in a vehicle with him for 4 hours, but he ended up being ok for the most part. He had driven on the way up and took the first exit that said Speedway instead of the way he normally goes, then took a wrong turn, so we got a little lost & almost missed the race we specifically went up to see. So on the way home it was my turn to drive, and he was mentioning how annoyed he was with himself for getting off at the wrong exit the day before, he goes, why did I do that? Then [to make sure I'm listening] he goes, huh? to me even though it was a rhetorical question. So I paused a moment, then looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I have three words for you... Beer for Breakfast." He thought that was pretty funny [so did I!]
He is sometimes mean when he's drunk & he was getting that way Saturday night after drinking since he got out of bed that morning [I gave him a look when the first thing he did when he came downstairs was chug a beer - he goes, what - just quenching my thirst. I go, well there's a quart of OJ right next to the beer for thirst... he ignored me, of course.] Anyway, Saturday night he had like a little breakdown about a number of things that stresses him out lately & started mumbling about he only has room in his heart to love his kids, and he's been burned by so many women he just can't bring himself to love me. Ouch. There goes that big carving knife - insert into my heart. He was going on and on about how he agonizes about it at night when he can't sleep and he doesn't know what to do about me. Don't forget, he was pretty trashed. I told him I'll accept being with him under any circumstances, and I'm the last person that would ever burn him, that I love him and blah, blah, blah. I felt like he was heading toward telling me we were over & I was really scared. But that's about as far as it went, thank God. The next morning driving home I got my nerve up and asked if he remembered what he had said the night before and yes, he had. I said, were you trying to break up with me? and held my breath. He said, no, that was just stupid talk, don't worry about it. I was so relieved, that really would have been his perfect opportunity to do it if he had any intention to, so relieved exhalation. We got home, had a nice day together, & he spent the night again [on a school night!], which I guess is becoming a habit, that makes me so happy. But most importantly, I guess I'm out, like a jack in the box, no more dirty little secret. hahaha. I think things are changing for the better and maybe I can stop worrying about another Dumping. That's a Good thing.