HaHa isn't it ironic. Don't ya think? Usually I do nothing but whine [often over wine] about my pathetic life but WOW! What a great & memorable weekend I had. Things seem to be getting more serious with Mike as in, his behavior over the past few months starting on Mother's Day. He now often comes over on Friday nights after the races or if the races are rained out, he now usually stays through till Sunday evening, showering at my house instead of going home to shower every morning as he had previously. I've had a toothbrush in the medicine cabinet for at least a year, which he uses, but the weekend before last he wanted to shave & asked me to buy him a razor while we were grocery shopping. Since I had a new, unused ladies razor at home I said he should use that instead. But he ended up cutting himself very badly on his cleft chin [imagine Kirk Douglas in Spartacus, honestly he looks like Kirk Douglas except Mike is much more ruddy] & it bled for hours, pretty badly I had to keep changing the bandaid. He lets me baby him like that, I think he secretly likes a woman fussing over him, I know for sure his X never did. The crazy thing is, he's the only man I have ever been "Edith" with. Anyway very occasionally at first & now this is the 3rd weekend he actually stayed over till Monday morning, showering & leaving for work from my house in the morning.
This gets better, I promise. Friday night I didn't hear from him so I thought, well maybe this is the weekend he dumps me again as previously for 3 months [The Dumping]. I've been expecting it since last Christmas and other than ME dumping him after my surgery for 11 weeks, we've been together consistently since a year ago July or August. Anyway, Saturday morning Kate was knocking on my door, she needed a place to stay & she knows she's usually welcome to crash for a day or 2. So, being the bad influence she is [haha], she borrowed some money for beer & we ended up making Bloody Marys after she helped me put stuff in storage and she did my dishes while I mixed up my Recipe. Gotta love that kid. Yeah not the smartest move, but we didn't get trashed or anything, but this lead to my paranoia about this will be the weekend he starts The Dumping. Especially since last weekend he went crazy & drove us to the fish market & bought the biggest lobster they had, like 7 lbs, the biggest frozen shrimp I've ever seen in my life, expensive cocktail sauce, plus 2 rib-eyes. I figured, as he's done occasionally before, it's like the last hurrah before The Dumping - like giving a death row prisoner whatever he wants for dinner the night before the execution. Especially after, when I made a comment that he should leave some clean undies and shirts at my house, he gave me A Look.
Anyway, 2 Bloody Marys later sitting on the deck in the sun Whining to Kate, she got it into her head to call him since I wouldn't. [I texted him 2x the night before & never got a response, so I was going to wait him out at least until his usual 3-ish phone call on Saturdays before he comes over.] She's like, I'm going to tell him to get his ass over here & he'd better bring you roses. I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair. This is a man who in 6-7 on again/off again years has never given me a Valentine's Day, Christmas, or birthday gift or acknowledgement. I said, Hah! he's never even picked me a flower from the garden, he'll never bring me even a carnation from 7/11! She's like, I bet he will, he's different lately. So I took her $5 bet. I said, don't let on that I know anything about this ridiculous scheme, I don't want him thinking I'm fishing for a gift or something, that's so not my thing. Now, I had mentioned in my Friendsgiving post that Mike is very fond of Kate, she's a bubbly sweet 20-something who has a heart of gold, and Kate reminds Mike very much of his daughter, so he's bonded with her in a father/daughter way. So, Kate called & got his voicemail, as I'd expected since she was using my cell phone & if it was The Dumping beginning he won't answer my call[s]. She goes, Mike it's Kate & I'm at Sassy's [obviously since I'm using her phone haha] & we're drinking Bloody Marys and I want you to come over right now [this is like 10:30 am.] and Sassy is in the bathroom & doesn't know I'm calling & I want you to be nicer to her so you'd better not show up without Roses! I'm sitting there with my hand over my mouth laughing my ass off at her. So, she waits like 15 minutes & calls again, she wakes him up: did you listen to my message, Mike? He's like, ah no, I'm sleeping. She goes, well listen to the message & get over here, make sure you bring roses. He goes, I'm going back to sleep. I said, well we won't be seeing him any time soon, if at all. I almost peed myself when he not only showed up 30 minutes later showered & shaved, but with 2 big-bowed white boxes from a very expensive florist with a dozen long-stemmed yellow roses & baby's breath for Kate Plus a dozen long-stemmed RED roses & baby's breath for me. He could have gone to a supermarket chain & spent $20 for each, but no, he wanted drama & that's what he got. He spent well over $100! I burst out crying, I kept kissing & hugging him [of course he was playing Archie Bunker - holding me at arm's length, haha] So, Kate goes: oh Yellow for friendship & he goes, Yup, so obviously he knew and then she goes, Red is for Love. He wouldn't comment but didn't deny anything either. He goes, well enjoy it now because I'm leaving later to go to my brother's to watch [sports or whatever.] He never ended up leaving. So the day went by very pleasantly and great fun [& a certain amount of partaking of illicit substances] was had by all.
Ok, this is getting way too long but I really want to chronicle this weekend, it meant so much to me. We were in bed talking that night & I had a buzz on & was half asleep. I said something that I don't remember saying & he got out of bed & went downstairs. I've done that to him occasionally when I've been hurt by something he's said, so he knew it would get to me--but I never leave the house. I went down a few minutes later to see him pulling out of the driveway. I got hysterical, kept calling him to apologize, he wouldn't answer the phone. I said in my voicemail that I hadn't meant anything, I had only been kidding, & he completely overreacted & it wasn't fair to emotionally blackmail me like that. Kate had woken up, she was sleeping on the couch, so we proceeded to get wasted [she's so supportive, haha, gotta love that.] I don't think we went to sleep till 3 in the morning. So, I was sound asleep & suddenly my bedroom door was thrown open, and like Claude the Cat [at 6.23 min.] who is startled & ends up hanging upside down with claws in the ceiling & all his hair standing up, I screamed & sat up "what the hell is going on?" Of course, it was Mike, 7:30 in the freaking morning, he kind of laughs & goes, "Get up I need your help downstairs." I was amazed that he remembered where I told him I hide the key like a year earlier & he's never used. This is typical Mike behavior, the early morning get up demand, but also what follows instead of a verbal apology. I get downstairs & it was the 3rd gift of the weekend, sitting on top of my oven was a big disposable turkey roaster & next to it in grocery bag was a raw, $96 bone-in prime rib roast. I'm like OMG, you're crazy, we only get this once every few years for Christmas dinner or something big! He knows it's my favorite next to lobster. He ignores me, goes, well take care of it, he'd also purchased minced garlic, basil pesto, and flavored sea salt. Now? He's like, yeah, I have to leave at 1 p.m. I already blew off my brother for you last night, & we're watching football today. I let the for you comment go, I pick my battles with him. I was stumbling exhausted after only 4 hours of sleep & many hours of boozing the night before, so I preheated the oven, pulled the wrapping off the roast to keep the label with the weight, & I mumbled I'll take care of it in a minute & went to the bathroom. I came out minutes later & he had already seasoned it & put it in the oven. We had a discussion about how to/how long to cook it, he's a very good cook, as it turns out we make it exactly the same way and it came out freaking Delicious, the 3 of us had a feast.
Snore, no one but me wants to read all this crap but I've gotta get it down so I won't forget. As early afternoon arrived he was getting more & more antsy about submitting his resume late for a job he wants here at the same place he's worked for 30 years. [This was a huge relief, hopefully he won't have to make the decision to leave me behind if he transfers to CA...] I said, well I'm the queen of resumes, I used to make money doing professional resumes, including attorney's and executives, so I know a little bit about them. He said, well it's got a typo so I need you to fix it, but I don't think I saved it on my computer & you'll need to retype it. Great, huh? He went & got it out of the car [that's big for him believe me] & it was loaded with typos & bad grammer. This is a very smart man with a high IQ so I was a little amazed. But he doesn't read for pleasure & that may explain it, my X didn't either & as smart as he is, he can't spell either. My printer isn't hooked up so we discussed going to the library since I knew his mom was home.
Anyone close to me knows this is a major issue between Mike and me. I've never met his family & although they assume he has a girl, he's never told them about me or identified me. Supposedly it's to keep his 20 [!] year old daughter happy. It's very hurtful to me, but anytime I bring it up he says, Do you want me to leave because I will [& it could very well be that I did so Saturday night & not what he says I supposedly said that made him leave. He did say the next day that he had decided to Teach me a Lesson so that's why he left.] So, what happened next is even more mystifying. His mom happened to call his cell while we were discussing printing a corrected resume & they had a typically short conversation. She mentioned she was leaving for the day in about an hour. He asked me to get dressed so we could go take care of the resume. Luckily I put on a very conservative outfit that looked like something out of the 50's - very cute. [I could easily have gone in an opposite direction with 1 of my slut outfits I like to wear for him, hahaha, but I figured that wasn't too tasteful for our small town library.] My hair, makeup, & outfit was perfect, Thank God. Because we ended up at his house, & as we were going in he said, she might still be home. I was very startled that he continued bringing me in instead of sending me back to the car, I could see he was making a decision. Into the living room we went, and he introduced me TO HIS MOTHER. I wanted to cry for the 3rd time that weekend. He told her I was there to fix his resume, she was sweet she said, I looked it over I thought it was ok, so he waved it at her & I had circled numerous typos/ mistakes in bright marker & we all laughed. He said, Sassy is an expert with resumes so she's going to fix it. When she left I asked him- do you think she knows who I am, as in, your girl, he goes yes I'm sure she realizes. I was overwhelmingly happy. The rest of the weekend through this morning when he left for work from my house was one of the happiest times of my life. I love that man so much it hurts. AND I have leftover Prime Rib!